


The worst day that never happened

by dvioletta



Category: Haven - Fandom
Genre: F/M, Friendship, Gen, One-Sided Attraction, Temporary Character Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-08
Updated: 2015-07-08
Packaged: 2018-04-08 09:19:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,299
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4299285
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dvioletta/pseuds/dvioletta
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Written for TroublesFest 2015</p><p>For Zippit - Taking their request for Nathan remembering Duke's death from Audrey Parker's Day Off and continuing to the end of season 2.</p><p>For some reason when Duke died on Audrey's day off instead of resetting at that point Nathan's day continued and now he can't forget the feeling of knowing Duke died. This makes Nathan realise how often Duke puts himself in danger and what he might feel for the other man.</p><p>Beta by the very kind Sai so any mistakes left are my own.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The worst day that never happened

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Zippit](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zippit/gifts).



Nathan sat straight up in bed, his heart pounding. He had been standing once again over the scene of Audrey holding Duke as the other man breathed out his last breath and she sodded claiming it was not meant to happen like that. From what he understood when the whole situation had been retold, Audrey’s day reset from that point. It was a pity the events of that day for him didn’t. It seemed that once he had also been killed, everything reset as well. But Duke’s death and the events afterwards stayed with him as if they had happened. 

He heard the noise of the ambulance pulling up. The paramedics were scrambling round to the scene only to confirm Audrey’s words and declare that there was nothing they could do for the body in Audrey’s arms. That wasn’t Duke from that point onwards; it was too still. His skin was always tan; now it looked pale with his lips taking on an ever more blue tone as the sheet was pulled over the body, ready for transport.

Nathan had formally identified the body at the scene and sent the sobbing Audrey home with Chris to look after her. The Grey Gull was the last place she wanted to go, and they were most likely go to Chris’s place instead. He went back to the police station; there was an incident report to fill out and other formalities to perform.

Telling Evi was the first order of the day. It was a duty he felt he owed to Duke to perform it himself. He wasn’t sure where to locate her. She seemed to just drift sometimes into town like the wind. Once he had located and given her the terrible news, he had to watch the tears fall down her face. He wished he could feel enough to hug her, but he didn’t think it would be a welcomed gesture. He also had to find numbers for Duke’s other family. 

There was some general conversation about when they could make it to town, but Nathan was just feeling drained by the whole event. He went to bed much earlier than usual, skipping his routine of going out for a jog. Once safe in his own bed, he allowed his tears to fall for the man he was finally starting to mend some bridges with.

The day of course never happened in the current time line. According to Audrey, there had been several other versions including one where he died. He didn’t remember the others, but it was Duke’s death that was burned in his memories.

He swung his legs over the edge of the bed. There was no point trying to go back to sleep now. He had learned from experience the dreams would just continue the process of events. Taking Evi to see Duke’s body once it was cleaned up and helping to arrange the funeral and finding out about so many unexpected things Duke did for other people... all of it tugged on his heartstrings and reminded him how much he didn’t know or notice, how often he thought the worst of the man with little proof or even reason.

Nathan knew his behaviour had taken a bit of an odd, maybe even obsessive turn, he had taken to collecting Audrey from the Gull most days. He justified it as they were both going to the same place and it was more economical to have one car than two. If he got there early, he’d spent a few minutes checking out if Duke was around who would comment on it. The days he didn’t see Duke at the Gull, he would find some reason to stop by the harbour to check if the Cape Rouge was still there with her captain. The days when he didn’t see the other man at all was an effort to remind himself the day Duke died never happened or it did, but it reset, and Duke was alive, well and being as much of a pain in the neck as always.

He was very glad that the Chris’ departure distracted Audrey, at her instance to get his funding; otherwise his behaviour would have been spotted much earlier. He offered her a shoulder to cry on and allotted time to hang-out with her both at her flat above the Gull and at his place. If it allowed more time with Duke as well and as much as put up a front made his much happier.

They continued to solve crimes. Nathan tried to stop Duke from getting involved, but he did seem to have a habit of hanging around the station. Any case that included a man with tattoo made Duke more interested and moved closer to danger.

It didn’t take long for Duke to find trouble that came with a life ending potential. Running around a building, looking for a man who didn’t die, he also liked shooting guns too much and appeared to be insane. He was doing a nice thing trying to look out for a runaway kid, but still, it made Nathan nervous.

Losing the job as Chief hurt but not has as much as the look in Duke’s eyes when he confessed about Evi’s involvement and then seeing Evi fall ill, causing a shouting match where she confessed to doing what she did for love because he was special. Nathan had no trouble believing Duke was special but he wasn’t sure he liked Evi’s tone in the whole matter. 

Finding out that Evi took his pass and then got herself shot and watching her die with Duke wanting to run back out to give himself up made Nathan do the only thing he could. He knocked Duke out cold and locked him away safely. When Duke argued with him on not knowing how it felt to see someone you loved die, he wavered for a moment, but there were more important things to deal with, like: making sure that they all lived for the rest of the night. He was against covering up Evi’s murder for Duke’s sake, but something’s had to happen in Haven a certain way.

He attended Evi’s funeral, although he stayed at the back of the room in the shadows listening to Duke speak about his wife. 

“You don’t get to love a person selectively, just as you can’t love the sea in bits and pieces. You love a person shore to shore, from the rocky sediments to the grainy sands. In tides high and low, or don’t love them at all. Some people only love people when they are breathtaking waves—and when they crumple against the coast, they leave; like all they ever wanted was land. And people wonder why the sea has strong undertows.” 

Nathan didn’t know where the words came from, but they touch him in a very deep way. He did love Duke maybe not in the healthiest way. At times, he would happily drown in the undertow of Duke’s sea and wait for the waves to crash over him. He wanted Duke to be close, but at the same time he wanted to punch his stupid face until his senses came back.

He left before the end of the funeral, not wanting to be spotted by the man who didn’t like him at the moment. The next time he saw Duke, they were pointing guns at each other. Seeing him hook up with the Rev was a real blow in the guts, but some people dealt with grief in odd ways, so he hoped like hell that it was just a phase. Audrey shooting the Rev just seemed to push them further apart, and he was worried it was a gulf they were never going to fix.


End file.
